Introduction If you’ve ever auto-replied “no worries!” when you were actually seething, or said “yes” to a 9pm call while your body begged for sleep, you know people-pleasing isn’t kindness. It’s self-abandonment in a friendly costume. And it’s exhausting. Because here’s the secret no one tells you: you can’t control other people’s opinions of you. You can only control how much you abandon yourself trying to. Research in social psychology calls this “externalized self-worth” — when your sense of okay-ness depends on approval, praise, or avoiding conflict. The problem? It puts your peace in everyone else’s hands. Neuroscience adds another layer. When you anticipate disapproval, your amygdala — your brain’s smoke alarm — fires. Cortisol floods your system. Your prefrontal cortex, the wise CEO of your brain, goes offline. So you agree. You over-explain. You shrink. Not because you’re weak, but because your nervous system thinks disapproval = danger. But you weren’t born to live on emotion...

Definition of Perfectionism According to Health , perfectionism is the tendency to demand for an extremely high or even flawless level of performance from others or from oneself, in excess of what is required by the situation. And according to Psychology Today , perfectionism is a trait that makes life an endless report card on accomplishments or looks . Types of Perfectionists According to the author of Overcoming Perfectionism, there are two types of perfectionists, namely, overt perfectionist and covert perfectionist.  1. Overt Perfectionist According to the author, an overt perfectionist may be born with a preference for order . They tend to have increased anxiety when there's no order around them. They are motivated internally by their personal standards and externally by the way others see them. They tend to be opinionated and like to be right. They may take things they're good at to extremes. They may appear to be arrogant or judgemental. They tend to avoid a tas...