Introduction If you’ve ever auto-replied “no worries!” when you were actually seething, or said “yes” to a 9pm call while your body begged for sleep, you know people-pleasing isn’t kindness. It’s self-abandonment in a friendly costume. And it’s exhausting. Because here’s the secret no one tells you: you can’t control other people’s opinions of you. You can only control how much you abandon yourself trying to. Research in social psychology calls this “externalized self-worth” — when your sense of okay-ness depends on approval, praise, or avoiding conflict. The problem? It puts your peace in everyone else’s hands. Neuroscience adds another layer. When you anticipate disapproval, your amygdala — your brain’s smoke alarm — fires. Cortisol floods your system. Your prefrontal cortex, the wise CEO of your brain, goes offline. So you agree. You over-explain. You shrink. Not because you’re weak, but because your nervous system thinks disapproval = danger. But you weren’t born to live on emotion...

What is Fear? Fear is an emotional state that's evoked by threat of danger. And it's usually accompanied by physiological changes such as increased heart rate, as well as behavioural changes such as avoidance of fear-producing objects or situations. ( https://www.oxfordreference.com/view/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803095812704 ) A certain amount of fear is necessary for our own good. That's healthy fear, as I'd like to call it. However, when it becomes irrational, it's no longer healthy and it could do us harm instead.  What is Irrational Fear?   Irrational fear is fear that isn't  situationally appropriate. In other words, it's out of proportion to the actual threat. And it can be a symptom of some mental health conditions , such as PTSD and panic disorder. According to the author of Conquering Fear, an overdose of fear can keep us perpetually tense, emotionally closed and paralysed to the point of inaction.   (Pg 24)  Do we want any of these? Obviously...